I would have thought that this weeks posts would have been filled with sadness and a few tears. Strangely enough, I have been rather calm.
Yes, my daughter is going to be 18 next week. Yes, she has a lot of things coming her way in the coming weeks. Yes, I have a lot of changes in my relationship with her in the coming months. But I cant change any of that, so why sit around obsessing about it? Ive seen those parents before. The ones who cant find their own identities because their lives have been solely wrapped up in raising their children – and there is nothing wrong with that, Im sure children from those families have very caring and devoted and supportive parents and they probably grow up to be fantastic people. But for me, I tried really hard to maintain some sort of identity for myself all these years. I maintained friendships and family ties. I had hobbies and took vacations that didnt revolve around Jayde (though some admittedly did). Somewhere inside me, behind all the report cards and sleepovers and homework dramas, I knew that one day Jayde would begin her own life and what was left over would be mine. I wanted to be sure that there was some shred of ME left in there somewhere.
So here I sit a week before this day she has been looking forward to for a year and Im not really sad. Im rather excited – for both of us. She has so many new challenges and experiences coming up on the road ahead of her and for a little while, I hope she lets me ride along with her.
Even if it is in the back seat.
