December 27th, 2009 – a day of reading, no TV or computers!

Today was cold and rainy and definitely not a day to go out side. Plus, we were all pretty tired from the three heavily scheduled days prior, so we opted for a day in the house.

All three of us read books the entire day. Yep, thats right – the entire day. From 10am until we left for my parents at 5:30, not one TV or one computer was turned on in the house. Everyone read books and napped and relaxed. The conversation was minimal and the interaction small but its probably one of the best days Ive spent at home in a long time.

All too often, our minds are over taxed and over stimulated – so much that we need a break. This was defintely a day for that.

I hope when Jayde has children, she will find time with her kids like this – especially when they are younger. Electronics have become so intrusive and necessary in our lives, we are all wired in at any given moment. Taking a step back from that and enjoying silence and actitivies that stimulate our minds are good habits to form in young families. Jayde will no doubt have kids and my money is betting that she will have them sooner than later. While I would rather she wait, I still know that no matter when she has them she will be a fantastic Mom.

 

December 26th, 2009

Today was that lazy, deflated day that comes after the mood enhancing high of Christmas. Jayde slept until noon, only speaking to me as I left for the gym.

When I got home, she was on my laptop playing Sims 3 and her hair looked like a bird tried to nest in it.

In the evening, we ran into my parents and they invited us to dinner on Sunday. Jayde was funny when she said “I love myfamily buts its nice when the holidays are over and we dont have to see them so much.”

Funny.

 

December 25th, 2009 – Christmas!

Christmas morning has been different for the last 4 years or so. Gone are the days when Jayde would come bounding into my room and wake me up with that fervor that children have on December 25th.

For the last few years, I think I had to go wake her up. This was surely the case this year. She rolled out of bed with a sigh and made her way to the living room. Once there, her excitement grew to a comparison of eyars past and she whizzed into a flurry of passing out gifts and opening her stocking.

As I said in my Christmas Eve post, I sure will miss moments like this in the future.

When Christmas arrives next year, Jayde may or may not wake up in the same home. Maybe she will be with extended family, or working or out of the country. Maybe she will just want a peaceful and quiet Christmas morning wherever it is she is living. Or maybe she will be home and with her family is right where she wants to be.

Regardless, Christmas will never be the same for me.

 

December 24th, 2009 – a last Christmas Eve.

Christmas Ever is my favorite family gathering of the winter season. My mother always has a gathering at her house, with good food and conversation, drinks and movies. Jayde spent Christmas Eve with us again, like she always does but for some reason, 2009 has struck a chord with me.

In 2010, Jayde will turn 18 and my control over attendance at family events will be gone. While I hope that she will still value family as much as I have impressed upon her, I do know that she will develop her own life and her own traditions – some which may keep her away or her time for me limited. I have no idea how I am going to handle this.

I have lived and breathed this child for over 17 years – we are never prepared for the day when they take the control away from us and put us in the passenger seat.

So this last 5 months, as I have documented in this blog and as I have watched the phases she goes through, I have made a bit of extra effort to capture as many memories as possible. Christmas Eve was no exception – I watched her interact with family, watched what she chose to eat and drink. I listened to her talk and laugh and be very much at home around everyone.

I really will miss this kid being such a permanant fixture in my routine. Things like Christmas Eve will become oddly different from this point foward and while I hope to embrace her adulthood with grace and pride, I no doubt will miss the pieces of her that float around my life daily.

 

December 23rd, 2009 – baking with the Nannie.

Jayde abruptly left the house today to go bake with my Mom. I loved this,  I wish she would do it more often.

My Mother is close to 70 but she has the activity level of someone in her mid 50’s. The woman is always on the go – shopping, painting, cooking, entertaining, cleaning. She seriously never stops. But the one thing that Mom really shines at is her baking. She truly has a talent and passion for it. As she grows older, I am saddened by the fact that I never took the time to learn this skill from her.

So when Jayde takes the time out of her busy teenage schedule to spend time baking with my Mom, my heart literally soars.

They baked all afternoon and even though the generation gap can sometimes get between them, it appears that they had a great time.

 

December 22nd, 2009 – corn chowder and a daughter that looks like me.

Jayde and my mother visited me at work today, bringing corn chowder and a Christmas cake. Jayde usually doesnt come with my Mom but since she is out on winter break, she decided to tag along.

Im really glad she did.

I like it when she sees me at work – my social interactions, my work responsbility and how I keep my office. I like her to interact with the people around me and see how things work in an office. I have to say, she has GREAT manners. She is always polite and considerate, interested and kind.  She laughs when appropriate, uses a quiet voice when necessary and is helpful when needed. If I ever was worried about her socially in the adult world, I have been terribly wrong.

Of course, I also liked that three people asked if she was my sister. That was AWESOME.

 

December 21st, 2009 – eye doctor and last minute shopping

Jayde had an eye doctor appointment today, on her first day of her winter break. She didnt mind, said it was nice to get out of the house.

After her appointment, we ran a million and one Christmas errands. We shopped for toys, wine glasses and D batteries (which I called double D’s and she about died laughing).

In all this running around, I realized (againg, really) just how smooth she and I operate together. We just have this manner between us that flows, that works.

I will so miss these days when she is gone from my daily routine….

 

December 20th, 2009 – gingerbread is messy!

I had no idea that decorating a gingerbread house could be so hilariously messy!

For the last three years, my mother has let Jayde and my cousin JP decorate gingerbread houses and cookies. The spread of decorations is incredible – frosting, gels, gumdrops, sprinkles, jimmies, mints, candy canes. There were sleighs and a train and a house to decorate, as well as the classic gingerbread men.

The last two years, I have not participated in this messy and apparently fun event. I had no clue the fun I was missing! We made a crazy mess, licked our fingers often (note: this stuff is so CAKED with sugar and candy and store bought gingerbread, that we dont eat the display, its only used for a centerpiece at the farm on Christmas day), we took pictures, had things fall apart, broke Kevin Walls leg (no jinx, it was just a gingerbread man!), had hot chocolate and laughed and laughed and laughed.

As I paused during the decorating to take a few pictures, I felt a bit sentimental. Why had I not been here the last two years, enjoying this fun and creative activity with my family? What other moments in life like this have I missed out on? I only can hope that in her life, Jayde will create and treasure opportunities like these with her own children.

This was one of those moments in time where you roll up your sleeves, drop the inhibitions and dive right into life. Im really glad I did. Its one of the best times Ive shared with those three ladies for as long as I can remember.

I cant wait until next year, Mom already has plans to build a castle.

Family. Its what we begin and end with. Cherish it.

 

December 19th, 2009 – the boyfriend

Jayde spent the day at home with B. The played games in the basement, watch TV and made a quick, record breaking run with me through the grocery store.

The only thing of note today that I recall as significant was when we were in the checkout line at Kroger.

We live in a small town, so when we go to the local stores, most of the young kids working there are in Jaydes school. While not overly popular, she is rather social so I think most kids know who she is. The baggers in out checkout line, both boys, knew her from school and said hi to her. B, who was standing with me watched while she chatted and even hugged one of the boys goodbye. The other boy, noticing B, made a friendly introduction and broke the ice.

I was very impressed by this boy but not so impressed with Jayde. While she wasnt malicious or devious in any way, she just didnt have the manners I would have expected from her. I know that most times in public, she is very aware of her manners and uses them frequently. I think B’s feelings were a little hurt, so I teased her about it on the way out to the car.

I might have been joking but I think the message was clear.

 

December 18th, 2009 – Christmas shopping at the mall!

I thought Jayde was crazy when she said she needed to go to the mall tonight. Exactly one week before Christmas, the last Friday for shopping and it was 5:00pm – but we braved the nasty weather anyway.

Have I mentioned before how cool I think my daughter is?

I love shopping with her, she is so animated about it. Her face lights up at the decorations, the adorable babies in strollers, the cool things on sale. She loves to get and iced drink from Godiva, not Starbucks and she marvels at everything shiny in William-Sonoma.

Even though she has been out of work, she had her own money this year. I guess she saved enough to be able to buy  few small things for the family. I love that about her. She shares the same excitement that comes from gift giving as I do. Its almost a preference of sorts, giving instead of receiving.

We didnt spend a lot of time in the mall but the time that we were together was great. We went to the bookstore and that is even more fun. One of my favorite places to be with her is the bookstore. I only hope that when she is older we can continue this tradition, maybe even with her own children.

Shopping trips with her have been some of the favorite memories I own.